Welcome, February
Groundhog Day and the Celtic calendar
Another Becoming
Lee Garrett, organist and professor emeritus of music at Lewis & Clark College, Portland, Ore., writes: “The title of your blog is the same as one I gave to one of my photographs, though the coincidence did not occur to me until this month. The photos is of a stairwell at a museum in Colmar, France.”
Indeed, this logarithmic Fibonacci structure shows emphatically and graphically what I think of as becoming, the gradual, gentle gyre we live as we unwrap our chrysalis and emerge, wet-winged and ready to fly.
Check in
Now is the moment to start working on the rest of your life. Or rather, don’t work, be happy. Just be in the moment and the work will come.
All shall be well
And all shall be well
And all manner of things shall be well.
—Julian of Norwich
Welcome February
February begins on Wednesday. On the Celtic calendar, Feb. 1 is Imbolc, the first day of spring. Irish Christians call it St. Brigid’s Day.
The four Celtic “quarter days” are more useful than equinoxes and solstices for beginning seasons, as those latter events happen in the middle of each season.
Besides St. Brigid’s Day, the quarter days are Beltane* (May 1), the start of summer; Lúnasa* (August 1), the gateway to the harvest; and Samhain (November 1), the beginning of the dark season. The eve of Samhain is Halloween, and the day itself in the Christian calendar is All Saints’ or All Hallows.**
Celtic festivals are celebrated on the eve of the day, in darkness, when the otherworld presses upon one’s consciousness. Jewish time is similar; each month begins in the darkness of the new moon and each day in the darkness of the evening before.
I’m indebted to The Economist for elucidating the word “umbraphile,” a chaser of eclipses, a lover of shadows. We’re all umbraphiles in the dark underbelly of winter.
*Many Celtic names have multiple spellings. Beltaine, Lughnasadgh or even Lugbnasadb.
**Thanks to Harry Potter for putting “hallows,” in the sense of a holy relic, back into common usage. J.K. Rowling dreamed up the deathly hallows symbol after seeing the power of the Masonic symbol in the movie The Man Who Would Be King.
One Masonic symbol ended up on the back of the dollar bill:
February resolution
You may recall I’m doing a diffreent resolution for each month. In January, it was “buy nothing.” In February, it’s “nix on negativity.” (See the whole list in the “Check out” section below).
I’m not a negative person in the sense of being cynical. But, in my career as a copyeditor and proofreader, I made a living off being critical. The more mistakes I found, the better I was doing my job.
In my retirement, I’m trying to turn down that rush to criticism, to seeing the negative in a situation. It’s a tough task. I’m so used to looking at things criticallly, examing what’s beneath the benign, bland surface of modern literature, film, food, humor—everything.
One thing I can do to quiet the inner critis: Choose not to be offended.
I like the way that sounds. I even try to follow it. And I fail, fail, fail. Too many things do offend me:*
Reality TV, sanctimonious talking heads, magazine articles about how to be happy, commercials (all, any), movie trailers that begin “in a world…”, junk food, pickup trucks with oversized wheels, “viral” anything, girls in pink and boys in blue, poems written with unremarkable words in unsurprising sequence, unfunny New Yorker cartoons, fake “real” news, outrageous diamond engagement rings. . . .
I mean, what’s not to loathe?
OK, I need to fix this. Try the usual sequence: First, blink. Breath in. Think for a beat. Then breathe out and let it go.
If my meal isn’t perfect, let it go. If my hair isn’t perfect, let it go. If the soup is cold, heat it. If the room is cold, put on a sweater.
Here’s a fix I’m going to try: What if I were to pull the energy of judgment and criticism back to me and use it for becoming?
I’ll let you know how this works as this short month lumbers on.
*Some things we all need to be offended by, all the time: Violence, oppression, hunger, Nazis, cute YouTube videos. This list is vast.
Adventures in assisted living
A bunch of the gals were whooping it up . . . in the café that meets every month or so in the craft room at Rose Schnitzer Manor.
All of these women, in their 80s and 90s, have been becoming their whole lives.
One of them, Harriet Block, makes jewelry out of safety pins. She’s sold the items in galleries and gift shop under the rubric Cleopatra’s Dream.
She saw some examples in Palm Beach in the 1970s. “I walked around the original four times,” she recalls, and then she had it.
The ingredients are simple: a couple hundred safety pins, some beads (threaded onto every fourth pin), strong string, a good clasp. The result is shiny and muscular, a stunning effect from humble beginnings.
TV and handwork
Harriet works on her jewelry while watching television. I’ve done that myself over the years: knitting, embroidering, piecing quilt blocks, quilting quilts, cracking walnuts.
However, as TV shows get better and more visual, we agree, it’s harder to just listen while concentrating on what’s in our hands. Nowadays, the best TV for handwork is the talking heads on the news.
Or try turning off the TV and listening to audio books while doing handwork.
Watch how you tawk
Harriet’s from Manhattan, originally, and she taught school. Of the many tests she had to pass for certification in New York in 1961, one was a speech test.
She says participants were coached on how to “properly” pronounce words that could get caught in the filter of the accents of the five boroughs. Watch those g’s: Say Long Island, not Lon-gyland, for example. Say “saw,” not “sauer”—that kind of thing.
She passed the New York exam, then went on to teach for 35 years at a private school in Bethesda, Md.
Missing in translation
Janet Russo joins the conversation about words at our table. Her late husband was from Italy, and he came to the United States at age16. On the cab ride from the airport, he saw all these signs that read “sale.” To him, “sale” was Italian for “salt,” and he couldn't figure out why all these businesses were advertising salt.
I am reminded of Margie Boule’s daughter, Alexandra, who attended a French immersion school. As their car passed a Les Schwab Tire Center, she called out: “Look, Mom—Lay Schwab!”
Time gets more relative all the time
Janet only went back to Italy with her husband once. It has been 40 years since he was there. We women got to thinking that 40 years for us in our 70s, 80s and 90s is not much of a time lapse at all.
All of us have some clothing that’s 40 years old. Even my hairdryer is probably 30 or older. I don’t use it, so I’ve never felt like replacing it.
Aging in place
All this discussion took place among assisted living residents who live in separate apartments but share common areas like dining rooms, the library, the front lobby fireplace and the craft room.
We like living here, but it’s not for everyone. Many older folks are afraid of assisted living; they associate it with “nursing homes,” with smells and isolation, bad food and nasty caretakers. It’s not like that in most modern assisted living, but the stereotype persists.
There’s a movement nationwide to help the elderly age in place—that is, stay in their own homes as long as possible. As a person with a disability, I can’t make that work for me, but for millions it’s a reality.
I can’t help thinking it might be lonely, just you and your caregiver. Your spouse is gone, your children are scattered. Maybe you have a pet. Especially in suburban settings, you may not know your neighbors.
Still, you have your familiar surroundings, your things, maybe a garden.
Compare that with the richness of living with other people. People who can energize, inspire, provide companionship and solace. Of course, they can also irritate and antagonize their fellow inmates—er, residents.*
Still, it’s worthwhile living with others, like being on a cruise ship instead of a lonely yacht. You could spend less time with your things and more with other people.
*Actually, there’s very little backbiting or even gossiping among those of us at Rose Schnitzer Manor. We’re mostly about enjoying the journey together. It may be different in different settings. If your experience of assisted living is less rosy, consider sharing that in the comments.
Poem for February 2
Groundhog Day
The shadow of the season be upon you,
Small, fearful creature.
The goodness of the world, can you feel it?
Do whiskers ache, claws tingle?
Do you scream silently at the harrowing, spring earth turning,
The lapping edges of weather gone bad, too soft, too early?
Spring becomes you
You are good
You are beautiful
You have done many fine things, raised children, cooked meals, read books
that mattered—and other books.
You have done well; you are imperfect.
The world cradles you, brings you its oblations.
You remember your mother, beautiful. Imperfect.
She was whole and good.Silliness break
~Fun with naming characters~
PLUMBERS Smitty Squeaky Lefty Pipes Duke Luigi Ginger Righty G. Gordon CARPENTERS Pete Mike Steve Jesus Michelangelo Carlos Jim Samantha Snug ROMANTIC BOYS’ NAMES Edgar Pennyroyal Carter Elliott Talbot Trent Trip Idris Christopher Jack Rhett Blackie Marlon Alexander Miles Fernando Thorne Oliver Heathcliff Anthony Zoltan STRAIGHTFORWARD BOYS’ NAMES James Philip Markell George Mike John Thomas Edward Robert Peter Richard Donald Paul Daniel WISE GUYS and GALS Sid Sol Sam Sal Billy Bubbles Liza Tom Studs Alec George Milton Lew SQUIRRELS Chip Butternut Speedy Squeaky Zippy Simon Curly Snips Dale Chuck Theodore Alvin Dave OLD DOG NAMES Spot Fido Buster Checkers Rags Rover Ruff Towser NEW DOG NAMES Maggie Tara Bear Chequers Goldie Fifo Lifo GIRLS WITH LOTS OF HAIR Debbi Cindy Raquel Stephanie Sigourney Madeleine Latoya Brittany Tiffany Brigit Victoria GIRLS WITH LOTS OF BRAINS Patricia Elizabeth Sam Sally Catherine Meghan Eleanor Elspeth FORGOTTEN NAMES Hortense Hepzibah Edwina Dorothea Bertha Hildegarde Dorcas Chester Clifford Milton Maud FORGOTTEN NO MORE Ruby Chloe Zoë Ivy Zachariah Hermione Sophie Micah Noah Isabella Olivia Abigail Leah MIGHT AS WELL BE A BOY Taylor McKenzie Sydney Leslie Kennedy London Madison Parker HIPPIE NAMES Flower Sun Arrow Echo Lorca Rain Apple Karma Yellow GOLDFISH NAMES Bubbles Blurb Carmel Gifford Jaws CLOWN NAMES Bozo Rebo Bebe Bebo Bobo Doobie Flop Whiskers
Do me a favor here
Hardly anyone ever leaves comments on my posts. Here’s a great chance to add a few names to these lists. Or create a list of your own. You’re clever. Show it.
Check out
~A few things to keep in mind~
Please be writing. Nothing becomes you more. Nothing helps you become more.
Please be taking time for yourself. Be in the present. Meditate. Eat well and sleep deeply. Let the Universe whisper to you in the only language it knows: love.
As February approaches
You remember the January resolution: “buy nothing.” I made it through the month mostly intact. Now that I’m free to purchase, here are a few favorite places to spend:
JetPens. Treat yourself to a bullet journal with printed page numbers and soft, soft paper, like the one by Clairefontaine. Rediscover fountain pen writing. So soothing.
Fat Quarter Shop: Go ahead, pick up a few fat quarters (wherein a yard of fabric is cut into four 22x18-inch pieces instead of four 9x44-inch pieces). Make a headband or a sachet, some napkins—or a quilt.
Earth Breeze, based in Medford, Ore., makes little sheets saturated with laundry soap that get your wash clean. No more honking huge, many-layered plastic jugs. The sheets come in a little envelope.
All USA Clothing: Simple items like T-shirts, made in American and reasonably priced.
Bookstore.org: Buy a book on this site and the proceeds will be credited to whatever local independent bookstore you select. The prices are lower than Amazon, for the most part, but shipping is $4. You are supporting local small businesses, though.
Figs: Scrubs are cool. Comfortable, good for lounging, nice enough for the street. Stylish compression hose designed for nurses are as easy to pull on as regular socks. Hidden messages on the soles include “Meditate/Medicate” “Trauma Lama,” and “Coffee—Stat!”
Avoid the juggernaut
I try mightily not to default to shopping at Amazon, easy as that is. Usually I can find what I need at a competitive price, even including shipping. I value Etsy, where makers sell things they’ve made themselves.
Here’s another chance to add value to this newsletter by adding your own recommendations for worthwhile places to shop online. Just hit the comment button.
The year in resolutions
Here’s the list of monthly resolutions (or topics) for 2023:
January: Buy nothing. Be content with what you have. February: Nix on negativity. Not being a critic is so difficult for me that I assigned working on it to the shortest month. March: Reconnect. Pick up the strands of dropped relationships and weave them back into your life. April: Reset and reorganize. Not just external clutter, but disorganized thoughts and intentions, even dreams. May: My body. Review. Renew. Restart. Movement, disability, resolution. June: It’s not about me. A month to choose not to be offended, not to run everything past the “me” filter, to move beyond assumptions. July: Walk every day August: Remember to see. I visit this concept so often, it’s worth its own month. September: Colors and seasons. October: Home and away. November: The dark is rising. December: Celebrations.
Once again
Dear Ones,
I haven’t run out of things to say, just a judicious space to say them. I hope you will keep reading. New ideas are on the way!
—30—
Wow, April, you said it.
I’ve been thinking a lot about my reactions in the last few days. Plenty has happened to tick me off, and it’s so hard not to fire off an angry email or leave a leaden comment. But I’m taking my own advice to turn negativity on its head—and I feel lighter, less burdened. Dare I say “happy"?
Thanks! I’ll add it.