Special edition: Tricky

A few oddities for April 1, no kidding

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I’d like to interrupt your boring week, your boring life, with a few April Fool’s tidbits. Just something to lighten your day.

I’ve written about some bizarre things these past few years on Substack.

• Humor is relative—some things I think are funny, like lyrics by Dave Frishberg and Cole Porter. Like most of my posts, it has a lot of little, fey items.

• Welcome, February features lists of names for plumbers (like G. Gordon), carpenters, squirrels and romantic girls. Classic and modern dog names.

• Necco wafer sky: at different times of day, the sky resembles different-colored Neccos.

• Fun with Scots and garbage cans includes light-hearted lists of famous Scots (including Nessie) and folks named Scott.

Photos can be funny, too. This plant is an amaranth. Fran Gardner photo

Odd words

I’m always on the lookout for strange-sounding words, ones that, if you think about them, seem out of place in English. Many of them have “ooh” or “O” sounds, like bugaboo, shampoo, maroon, caboose, gizmo, goobertooth.

Thing is, any word can seem odd if you stop to think about it and examine its smooth underbelly.

My posting Round things and double-o’s has a specious item about an initiative in Florida to ban words with double o’s in them—like look, book or kooky—because the words could conjure images of female breasts.

Words

Do you pronounce cliche like sheesh?
Like a clique, it clicks.
Silly rhymes, silly me.
I guess that’s my schtick.

Tchotchke, can you spell it?
Or better yet, pronounce?
Is it CROT-chet or cro-SHAY?
Noun or verb, whatever counts.

Many meanings

Other words that catch my attention have multiple meanings. Perhaps my favorite is “frog,” which can be anything from the amphibian to a coat fastening, from a flower holder to the end of a violin bow. Got a frog in your throat?

Other multi-meaning words:

• Quiver

• Pike (at least six meanings)

• Key

• Pelt

• Bun (including my favorite Vietnamese dish, rice noodle salad)

• Entrance (I’m entranced by entrances)

• Clutch

• Render

• Hamper

• Fence

• Concrete

• Resort

• Retort

• Meniscus (the water phenomenon and the kneecap)

• Crown

• Pen

And dozens, nay hundreds, more.

Comfort

Soft, fluffy life with strings of anxiety
Can’t stop worrying about minor things.
Will it rain? Will I falter? I find it amusing
To leave major decisions to swing.

There may be a big earthquake, or maybe not.
Meanwhile, appreciate trees and flowers.
Strike your head in a fall, but, hey, you’re still alive--
Time to make cornbread and watch TV for hours.

Wordly pranks

I just remembered the time I bit when someone told me something wonky that I should have picked up on right away.

A friend explained to me that some goat cheese is stronger-tasting because it’s made from the milk of male goats.

That sounded like a good explanation—no, wait, boy goats? Milk?

Maybe you’ve been asked: What color was Washington’s white horse? Or who was buried in Grant’s tomb? Sometimes you say “dunno” when the answer is obvious.

May you find plenty of obvious answers on this April Fool’s Day

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This will likely be the only midweek Becoming posting for a while—if ever. I just couldn’t help myself.

Meanwhile, you can pinch me. I’m not wearing green.

—Fran

—30—

[If I don’t add the subscribe button, Substack wants to do it for me. So here it is.]